Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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