the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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