so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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