if only i could text you this smell
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
