I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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