I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Umm I'm too high to move.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
