OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
