3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
