Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
