It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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