We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
