do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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