i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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