theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
All the doctor said was why
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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