ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
