so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
