I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
whose parrot is this?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
