video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
