WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
