White coat. Heels.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So drunk its hurt
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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