I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
