and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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