Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
