I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
