I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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