so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
