i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
