There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
