she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
