I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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