can u get pink eye on your cock?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
