it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
