just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
