did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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