I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
