Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
