pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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