so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
