i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
