My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
