who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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