she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
try to milk me bitch
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