even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
