bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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