does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
people are starting to question the shark bite story
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
