I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
