Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
