This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
