Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
