i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
